Thursday, June 7, 2007
Brian Zhand breaks down Rhonda Byrne's "Secret"
But enough of my opinion, Brian Zhand absolutely devastates this whole business on his most recent blog post, simply entitled, "The Secret."
The Secret
Monday, June 04, 2007 - 3:54 PM
It's a beautiful day.I'm sitting on my deck reading Ephesians in the New Living Translation.
My eye fall upon these words: "God's secret plan has now been revealed to us; it is a plan centered on Christ." (Eph. 1:9)
I pause for just a moment with this thought floating in my head: God's secret plan.
Just that moment Peri comes out on the deck and hands me an article in Newsweek. "Decoding The Secret"
Spooky. The Newsweek article was about the mega-bestseller book, The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne.
Full Story
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Can you taste caffeine in pop? The New Jerusalem News Exclusive Study answers the question!
The question arose, through random conversation. Can you taste caffeine in pop? If so, is there a preference?
It was then that New Jerusalem News decided to take the challenge! With the help of Chad Waldron, a first-year Psychology Student at Kalamazoo Valley Community College, the experiement shaped up mighty nice. For those of you who care about such things, here are the details.
Soda Used: Pepsi, Caffeine Free Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Diet Caffeine Free Pepsi, Diet Coke, Diet Caffeine Free Coke
Test Subjects: Robin (28), Mikayla (9), Corina (7) , Billy (29), Chad (29), Kristen (28)
Itinerary: Subjects are given two cups, one containing a caffeinated pop, one uncaffeinated. They are then asked one of two questions; "Which do you prefer?" and "Which of these is caffeine free?" They do not know what is contained in the cups.
Intention: The intent is to discover not only if a subject can actually taste caffeine, but if the subject would prefer a caffeinated beverage to an uncaffeinated one, without knowing which is which.
Results for each subject were as follows:
Kristin preferred the taste of Caffeine Free Pepsi over regular Pepsi, She guessed wrong about which contained caffeine. She did not prefer the taste of either diet sodas, and could not tell the difference between the diet sodas, caffeine or not.
Robin Preferred the taste of Caffeine Free Pepsi and Diet Caffeine Free Coke. She guessed correctly which regular sodas contained caffeine and which diet sodas contained caffeine.
Mikayla preferred the taste of Caffeine Free Pepsi and Diet Caffeine Free Coke. She guessed wrong about which sodas contained caffeine both times, diet or not.
Corina preferred the taste of Regular Pepsi and Diet Caffeine Free Coke. She guessed correctly which regular and diet sodas contained caffeine.
Billy was given three seperate tests and asked which contained caffeine. He guessed right on all three. He was not asked which he preferred.
Chad was given three seperate tests and asked which contained caffeine. He guessed right on two and wrong on one.
Conclusion: A total of 22 tests were given. Subjects preferred the taste of uncaffeinated soda over caffeinated 2.5 to one. Subjects were able to guess which soda contained caffeine with a ratio of 3 to one. Based on that data, New Jerusalem News must conclude that subjects prefer uncaffeinated soda and can taste the difference.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Alcoholism
Alcoholism is an obsessive disorder that disarms all logic, all rational thinking.
This "thought germ" is killing my wife right now.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
To Disagree, To Dislike, or to Hate, By Rex M. Rogers
Both the audio and transcript can be found at the link below.
Making a Difference, To Disagree, To Dislike, or To Hate.
Subconsciously, I have always shied away from people who didn't share my views exactly. Thanks to Rex, I am liberated from this shallow thinking.
B
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Athiests attack Jerry Falwell....Now that He's Dead.
Hitchens: 'I wish there was a hell for Falwell'
Celebrated atheist labels Jerry 'ugly little charlatan'
So much for Atheism being the religion of love and tolerance.....As if it ever was.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
The Atheism Debate
Athough they meant well, I couldn't shake the feeling that all Ray Comfort did by sending that e-mail to Nightline challenging the atheists to a debate was bring undeserved and unwarranted legitimacy to a ridiculous, almost comedic, attempt to defame God.
I have to admit I was amused and felt love swell up in my heart for the male athiest as I saw him speak. I really think that God prefers honest doubt to false piety. He would rather someone say, "I have no reason to believe in you!" than walk through life faking smiles at church and then going home and kicking on the Mtv and worshipping their 24-pack of Coors Light. I also know that God proves Himself faithful. He is bigger than atheism. He is bigger that 800 people on You Tube professing thier lack of faith. He is just bigger than that Nightline debate. He is bigger than any argument you can put against Him.
I once saw a bumper sticker that put it in perspective: "If you're living like there is no God, then you better be right!" But I digress.....
The writer/preacher George McDonald says it best in his sermon in June of 1882 at Brixton Congregational Church.
.....with one on this side and one on that side crying out, "I have reached, I have seen, and I have found no God." Settle this with yourselves to begin with. Not all the intellect or metaphysics of the world could prove that there is no God, and not all the intellect in the world could prove that there is a God. If you could prove that there is a God, that would imply that you could go all around Him, and buttress up his being with your human argument that He should exist. As soon might a child on his mother's bosom, looking up into his mother's face, write a treatise on what a woman was and what a mother was.But do not think that God is angry with you because you find it hard to believe. It is not so; that is not like God; God is all that you can honestly wish Him to be, and infinitely more; He is not angry with you for that....
It bears repeating, God is all that you can honestly wish Him to be and infinitely more...
I just want to yell at the top of my lungs, "Would you please stop trying to be so ADULT about this whole thing!!"
Jesus said something like this. Unless you accept the kingdom like a child, you will never understand it. I think those who claim to be athiests are just trying to be old. Rejecting the foolishness of a child.
Doesn't anyone remember how fun it was being a kid?
Monday, May 7, 2007
Anti-God Starbucks Cup Has Customer Steaming
The message that got Michelle Incanno's blood boiling reads:
"Why in moments of crisis do we ask God for strength and help? As cognitive beings, why would we ask something that may well be a figment of our imaginations for guidance? Why not search inside ourselves for the power to overcome? After all, we are strong enough to cause most of the catastrophes we need to endure."
Full Story
And now for my commentary. As a professing follower of the teachings of Jesus Christ, I believe this message is good! Why??
Our God is bigger than this. If it creates discussion about salvation in a Starbucks then so be it; its not easy to just walk up to some stranger and say, "Hey dude, what do you think about eternal damnation?" Or "Hey bro, what exactly are your views on the third heaven?"
This cup empowers Christians everywhere to start up a conversation and possibly help them in a way they have never been helped. I am very disappointed with World Net Daily's opinion poll on this story, where Christians are portrayed as very cynical about the subject.
Yes, it does defame God. But we are followers of Jesus Christ! When people defamed God in front of Him, He turned it into an opportunity! The religious leaders of His day defamed God continually before Him. If Jesus had silenced them with hate-rhetoric, the Gospels would be a whole lot shorter. If written at all..
Listen, Christians.... Each and every man, woman and child that lives on this earth is made in the image of God. Yes, we're mixed up. Yes, we make dumb comments. But Jesus' primary message was one of Love. Remember this? (a paraphrase). The whole law is summed up in this, to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself.....
Who is my neighbor?
Jesus now tells the story of the Good Samaritan. A man gets robbed and left for dead on the side of the road. A priest and a sadducee walk by and do not help him. Then a Samaritan walks by and bandages his wounds, puts him on his own mule, and carts him to a nearby town. Then, the Samaritan puts the guy up at an inn, paying for everything until the man is better. Who then, acted as a neighbor, the priest, the sadducee, or the samaritan? (aha!)
But here's the kicker.... Jesus was telling this story to a crowd of people who hated Samaritans.
B
Sunday, May 6, 2007
National Gas Out on May 15th
I recently recieved this e-mail from a friend and I plan to participate.
>> NO GAS...On May 15th 2007. Don't pump gas on MAY 15th. In April 1997, there was a "gas out" conducted nationwide in protest of gas prices. Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon overnight. On May 15th 2007, all Internet users are to not go to a gas station in protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most places. There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the Internet network, And the average car takes about 30 to 50 dollars to fill up. If all users did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take $2,292,000,000.00 (that's almost 3 BILLION) out of the oil companies pockets. For just one day, so please do not go to the gas station on May 15th and Lets try to put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry for at least one Day. If you agree (which I cant see why you wouldn't) resend this to all your Contact list. With it saying, ''Don't pump gas on May 15th".....
When researching this online, I found many detractors. Many people saying, "it won't work" or "don't bother because one day won't mean a thing". Cynicism will get us nowhere. Even if the facts for this aren't totally accurate, the idea is sound. Maybe a whole week off from gas would do better, but let's see if we can organize one day to begin with! It has been said, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
This is that step.
BTJ
Friday, May 4, 2007
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
David Crowder's Foreverandever Video
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Go to Hell
If America as a society is truly as "secular" or "godless" as it is portrayed to be, then why is a knowledge of the spiritual found in simple slang, catch phrases, and common curses?
Example: (Names have not been changed to protect the guilty)
Bill (the 19 year-old athiest) is driving down Highway 131 attempting to exit at 9th street. As he slowly merges onto the off-ramp, a man in a shiny, red sportscar speeds up next to him and promptly swerves over in front of him, and then slams on his brakes. Bill's eyes get large, his pulse quickens, his mind races. Words are beginning to come out of his mouth. What are they?
A) Go to Hell, you idiot!
B) Oh my God!
C) God Dammit!
D) All of the above, in succession.
Based on these popular phrases, one can draw a few conclusions about Bill. They are...
1) Bill has heard of a place called Hell where bad people go.
2) God exists and in some capacity can hear him.
3) God has power to do things on earth (in this case, damning someone)
Now if I have my theology correct, Bill is over three-fourths of the way to becoming a follower of Jesus. It would seem that even the most hardened athiest/agnostic/unbeliever has at least a rudimentary knowledge of God simply based on his language. As the Old Testament Proverb says, "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.."
Assuming this proverb is also true, Bills heart may have an abundance of misplaced anger, but it also has a knowledge of the Father, and Jesus gave us a way to get back into fellowship with the Father through His death on the cross.
Are you that foul-mouthed athiest who needs redemption? Do you know someone who is? Please, don't delay because today could be your last day on earth and without Christ you will spend eternity in a place called Hell. With a humble heart, pray this prayer out loud:
Father God, I admit that I cannot save myself. I have sinned and am guilty. Today I accept Your Son, Jesus Christ as my savior. I submit my life to Him and I pledge to follow all of His teachings. Amen
Now tell someone about it and start reading your bible daily. find a church and grow in your faith. I am praying for you.
B
Monday, April 16, 2007
The Madman
I was once like a madman. Picture him sitting on the dusty ground, wearing ripped up, worn out rags for clothing. His skin is coated with crusted and dried dirt. As you scrutinize from your vantage point about two armslengths away, you catch a fire in his eyes and notice that he seems to be stalking an unknown prey. Suddenly, he jerks and pounces! His hands rifle into the sandy dust. Fingers grasping at this thing that you cannot quite make out. Then, he slaps his hands to his lips. You move closer in time to see the madman frantically grinding the grainy dirt into his front teeth! You can even hear the squeaky rasp of the particles embedding themselves in his soft enamel. Think of the look on your face right now....
Gums bleeding, his head shakes animalistically as a look of great satisfaction creeps across his filthy face. Crimson mixed with dirt makes its way down his chin as his wild eyes meet you, the only onlooker to this neurotic scene. Then, to your horror, he begins to repeat the same process again....
This friend, was me before Christ.
Take it for what you will.
BTJ
Monday, April 9, 2007
George McDonald Breaks it Down
I question if there is a doubt or a sense of difficulty that prevails now that has not passed through my own mind as a thing to be encountered and understood and settled. It is natural that we should doubt, with such cries especially on all sides of us, and the intellect so much more awake than ever it was before, and indeed the conscience not more asleep than before; and with one on this side and one on that side crying out, "I have reached, I have seen, and I have found no God." Settle this with yourselves to begin with. Not all the intellect or metaphysics of the world could prove that there is no God, and not all the intellect in the world could prove that there is a God. If you could prove that there is a God, that would imply that you could go all around Him, and buttress up his being with your human argument that He should exist. As soon might a child on his mother's bosom, looking up into his mother's face, write a treatise on what a woman was and what a mother was.
But do not think that God is angry with you because you find it hard to believe. It is not so; that is not like God; God is all that you can honestly wish Him to be, and infinitely more; He is not angry with you for that. And He knows perfectly well what the scientific man calls truth--although you will observe that he is always constantly, and everywhere changing his theories--that what the scientific man calls truth is simply an impossibility with regard to God; And God knows it. Your brain, the symbol of your intellect, cannot, concerning Him, if He exists, receive that kind of proof which you have when you read a proposition of Euclid. It commends itself to your mind and your understanding. You say, "So it is, and it cannot be otherwise." But you cannot receive that kind of; there is no such proof with regard to the Mighty God. And therefore I say if you doubt the existence of the living God, He is not angry with you for that. But I am speaking of those who would fain believe if they could, I ask you, have you been trying the things not seen? Have you been proving them? This is what God puts in your hands. He says, " I tell you I Am. You act upon that; for I know that your conscience moves you to it; you act upon that and you will find whether I Am or not, and what I Am." Do you see? Faith in its true sense does not belong to the intellect alone, nor to the intellect first, but to the conscience, to the will, and that man is a faithful man who says "I cannot prove that there is a God, but, O God, if Thou hearest me anywhere, help me to do Thy will." There is faith, "Do this," and he does it. It is o, friends, that is faith; it is doing that thing which you, let me say, even only suppose to be the will of God; for if you are wrong, and do it because you think it is His will, He will set you right. It is the turning of the eye to the light; it is the sending of the feet into the path that is required, putting the hands to do the things which the conscience says ought to be done. You will notice that all this chapter from which I have taken the text is a list of people that did things. Some of them were made kings, and some of them were sawn asunder for it; but it was all for faith, and nothing but faith. There was a truth; there was a live truth; a truth that had welled through and called the knowledge of truth up in us, nay, called up in us the very possibility of feeling truth; and according to this law these men walked through all the world, and all the worlds together set themselves against them, and in the name of the original vital law of the universe-- namely, the living God--they walked right on and met their fate. Yes; victory and the participation of the Divine nature, that was their faith.
Therefore, friends, the practical thing is just this, and it is the one lesson that we have to learn, that whatever our doubts or difficulties, we must do the thing we know in order to learn the thing we do not know; but whether we learn it or not, "If ye know these things," saith the Master, "happy are ye if you do them." It is the doing that is everything, and the doing is faith and there is no division between them.
*Edit*
This is really the tip of the iceberg for this text. I printed the whole thing (6 Pages) and have read over it several times, getting something new each time. Its really good to meditate over because there is so much good stuff there. Here is the link to the whole text...
Faith, The Proof of the Unseen, By George McDonald
BTJ
Brigette Gabriel
How about "peaceful" muslims tying one leg of an infant child to its mother, the other leg to its father, and pulling the mom and dad apart unti the baby is split in two?
A quote:
"They started massacring the Christians, city after city. Horrific events the western media seldom reported. One of the most ghastly acts was the massacre in the Christian City of Damour where thousands of Christians were slaughtered like sheep. The Muslims would enter a bomb shelter, see a mother and a father hiding with a little baby. They would tie one leg of the baby to the mother and one leg to the father and pulled the parents apart splitting the child in half. A close friend of mine was mentally disturbed because they made her slaughter her own son in a chair. They tied her to a chair, tied a knife to her hand and holding her hand forcing her to cut her own son’s throat. They would urinate and defecate on the altars of churches using the pages of the bible as toilet paper. They did so many things I don't need to go into any more detail. You get the picture."
Brigette Gabriel was an eyewitness to this and many other atrocities. This native-Lebanese Christian has now emigrated to America and is leading the quest to inform and equip the average American citizen to win the war on terror.
Her account had me ranging from sadness to joy to rage. Please read it and disspell all doubts in your mind that peace can ever be made with terrorists.
Brigette Gabriel Interview
After you read that, please check out the American Congress for Truth, and sign their petitions against Islamic terror in the United States.
BTJ
A Quote
Lin Yutang, in "From Pagan to Christian" (World Press 1956)
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Imagination, Dreams, and God
"Imagination does not breed insanity. Exactly what does breed insanity is reason. Poets do not go mad, but chess-players do. Mathematicians go mad; but creative artists very seldom...Poetry is sane because it floats easily on the infinite sea; reason seeks to cross the infinite sea, and so make it finite. The result is mental exhaustion...The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits."
I have always tried to "get the heavens into my head" and sometimes it does feel like its splitting. I was once a poet. Then I grew up......
The Icy Wind, (A Ballad of Spring)
As the icy fingers creep in through the drafty windows,
my skin tightens, the furnace strains.
Just last week I was walking in the sun, warmed and filled,
breeze caressing my skin.
Just last week I was on the trampoline, feeling my stomach lurch.
Falling and scraping my elbow.
Fluffy white covers the newly green grass.
My toes long to slide between its downy blades.
But not today.
BTJ
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Can we believe the Gospels?
- It's full of contradiction
- The gospel writers had their own agenda
There is something deeper than my rational mind that knows the Bible is true, but the mind itself is the place of debate and arguement. I find myself there sometimes and I'll bet most Christians are in a similar place from time to time.
As friends have said "ITS BLIND FAITH!" In other words, there's no logic to believing God's word, it's like believing in fairies or leprechans. You don't think too hard about it, otherwise you may find that you really don't believe in the little people.
Recently, I found an article that helps my thinking mind to digest the revelation of the Gospels in a more logical way. A former Australian magistrate (Judge) breaks down the reliability of the gospel witnesses from a legal standpoint. Would Matthew, Mark, Luke and John's testimony be accepted in a court of law?
Read for yourself....
A former chief magistrate examines the witnesses to the resurrection
This quote from the article really sticks in my mind....
"They portray Jesus as one who taught with great authority and conviction, as one who had a passion for truth, who abominated hypocrisy and abhorred lying and deception. They themselves were committed disciples of the man they were writing about. As men of Jewish stock, steeped in the Old Testament, they knew the requirements of their law that witnesses be true. The only logical and sensible inference from all this is that they themselves were honest men who were concerned for the truth. They were not deceitful.
Put in another way, the writings of these five men contain some of the highest moral and ethical teaching the world has known. If these men were not honest, then they represent a baffling contradiction of what they themselves were proclaiming."
BTJ
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Banana Bread
- Bananas
- Sugar
- Flour
- Shortening
- Eggs
- Soda
- Salt
- Buttermilk Powder
- Water
- Walnuts
That's ten-steps to happiness, my friends! Since I don't actually make the bread, but simply buy it at the store pre-made, I can't give you measurements or anything so droll as that. It's not the making I'm interested in, anyhow. It's the eating. And speaking of the eating, nothing in more essential to the proper enjoyment of your banana bread than the proper margarine to lubricate the blissful swallowing of this American delicacy.
Due to strange effects my cholesterol level seems to be having on my aging body, I use a light margarine to butter my banana bread. Usually, I use Parkay, which sells for the low, low price of just $2.39 for the big tub. Its an amazing deal considering the generic tub tastes like industrial waste and sells for twenty cents more. Right now, however, Shedd's Spread Country Crock Light Margarine is on sale for $2.00 for the big tub. I took a flying leap and gave it a shot. Dear reader, I must inform you that the Country Crock Light tastes identical to Parkay. If you don't believe me, then see for yourself, but wait until it goes on sale because the Country Crock is usually well over $3.00 for the big tub.
My current banana loaf is 14 luscious ounces, cost $3.39 (a necessary indulgence), and will go bad on 3-29-07. This leaves me little time to.... (see second and third picture at top)
BTJ
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
The Gardener, A Story by Brian Zhand
The Gardener, By Brian ZhandTuesday, March 20, 2007
The Division
1. The Moralists -- the Pharisees and their "take back Israel for God" movement.
2. The Zealots -- who wanted to take up the sword and violently overthrow the Romans.
3. The Compromisers -- The Sadducees and Herodians who collaborated with and adopted the values of the Gentiles.
4. The Separatists -- Like the Essenes who escaped into the wilderness in order to create the Kingdom of God separate from the wider world.
And then he goes on to make the point:
*Jesus was not a moralist. He ate and drank with sinners.
* Jesus was not a zealot. He taught His disciples to turn the other cheek.
* Jesus was not a compromiser. He called people to repent of their sins.
* Jesus was not a separatist. He was fully engaged with the surrounding culture.
I believe these four ideas are highly applicable to the church today. I know of Christians who are Moralists in the same vein as the Pharisees of old. There are entire denominations devoted to this idea. I have read of churches that are compromisers, changing the Bible to suit their political agenda. I know of entire Christian cultures that are seperatist and want nothing to do with the world at large.
Each of these is equally dangerous. All of them are based in pride. We want to take pride in our works instead of the Grace. What is the Grace? Its the very thing (the only thing) that can combat pride. Its the realization in the human heart that God will not accept us no matter how many good works we do or how good of a person we are. Every single one of us are guilty of breaking at least one of the Ten Commandments at some point in our lives. Most of us are guilty of breaking one (or more) each day! I include myself in this.
The Grace is the gift of God. It cannot be earned. NO matter how many old ladies you help across the street, no matter how honest you are, you still fall short of God's holiness. You are condemned to an eternity in Hell for your sins.
The Grace is God saying to humanity, ENOUGH! He has provided a Way for us to become holy. We can't earn it. We simply must accept the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. He paid for our sin in full. We must follow Him with all our hearts and seek to examine ourselves daily to make sure we are in the faith. We must feed our spirit by reading God's word every day and grow in knowledge of who he is. Would you like to spend eternity with a stranger?
This is more than a blog entry. This is a call to action. Examine yourself today. Are you in the faith? Have you prayed a prayer one time to accept Christ but there is no evidence of a difference in your life? Jesus told a parable about the Kingdom of God that illustates this point. Its known as the Parable of the Sower and can be found in Matthew 13.
“Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seeds. As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. Other seeds fel l on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn’t have deep roots, they died. Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants. Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted!
And then we find the explanation of the story in Mark 4.
The farmer plants seed by taking God’s word to others. The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message, only to have Satan come at once and take it away. The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word. The seed that fell among the thorns represents others who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced. And the seed that fell on good soil represents those who hear and accept God’s word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted!”
Live it out. Jesus came to save you. Your life is but a vapor.
BTJ
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
How Many Christians Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
Q: How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?A: One, since his/her hands are in the air anyway.
Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on. (Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray the light bulb will be one that has been chosen to be changed.)
Q: How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?A: At least ten, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the lightbulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes.
Q: How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?A: One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Q: How many neo-orthodox does it take to change a bulb?A: No one knows. They can't tell the difference between light and darkness.
Q: How many independent fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?A: Only one, because any more might result in too much cooperation.
Q: How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?A: "What's a light bulb?"
Q: How many youth pastors does it take to change a light bulb?A: Youth pastors aren't around long enough for a light bulb to burn out.
Q: How many members of an established Bible teaching church that is over 20 years old does it take to change a light bulb?A: One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.
Q: How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None. They always use candles instead.
Q: How many Evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?A: Evangelicals do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and hope the light bulb will decide to change itself.
Q: How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?A: One. But they are still in darkness.
Q: How many Brethren does it take to change a light bulb?A: Change?????
Q: How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?A: 10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Q: How many TV evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb?A: One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation today.
Q: How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?A: One. But soon all thoses around can warm up to its glowing.
Q: How many baptist's does it take to change a light bulb?A: The whole congregation needs to vote on it!
Q: How many charismatics does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Three, one to cast it out and two to catch it when it falls!
Q: How many charismatics does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Twenty one, one to change it, and twenty to share the experience!
Q: How many conservative Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Three. One to change it and two to storm out in protest if the person changing it is a woman!
Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None. If God wants the lightbulb changed He will do it Himself!
Q: How many missionaries does it take to change a light bulb?A: 10. Five to determine how many can be changed by the year 2000, four to raise the necessary funds, one to go find a national to do the job!
Q: How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?A: This statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark resource), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted--all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."
Q: How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?A: 109. Seven on the Light Bulb Task Force Sub-committee, who report to the 12 on the Light Bulb Task Force, appointed by the 15 on the Trustee Board. Their recommendation is reviewed by the Finance Executive Committee of 5, who place it on the agenda of the 18 member Finance Committee. If they approve, they bring a motion to the 27 Member church Board, who appoint another 12 member review committee. If they recommend that the Church Board proceed, a resolution is brought to the Congregational Business Meeting. They appoint another 8 member review committee. If their report to the next Congregational Business Meeting supports the changing of a light bulb, and the Congregation votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the light bulb change is passed on to the Trustee Board, who in turn appoint a 7-member committee to find the best price in new light bulbs. Their recommendation of which hardware is the best buy must then be reviewed by the 23 member Ethics Committee to make certain that this hardware store has no connection to Disneyland. They report back to the Trustee Board who then commissions the Trustee in charge of the Janitor to ask him to make the change. By then the janitor discovers that one more light bulb has burned out.
Q: How many Nazarenes does it take to change a light bulb?A: 4 ladies. One to carefully unscrew the bulb. One to wrap it carefully and another to package it. The fourth to mail it to the mission field.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Jesus' Grave Found
The bones of Jesus Christ are supposedly found, rendering my faith irrelevant and making a mockery of all my friends in the faith. I would like to personally thank James Cameron and his crack staff of archaelogists and scholars for saving me from my ignorance. Without him, I would be doomed to a world of disillusionment. After all, our salvation is really "rooted in our mastery of technology," (A quote from Cameron). So all you people out there who can type over 40 wpm, you are well on your way to the hereafter.Matthew suffered martyrdom in Ethiopia, killed by a sword wound.
Mark died in Alexandria, Egypt, after being dragged by horses through the streets until he was dead.
Luke was hanged in Greece as a result of his tremendous preaching to the lost.
John faced martyrdom when he was boiled in a huge basin of boiling oil during a wave of persecution in Rome. However, he was miraculously delivered from death. John was then sentenced to the mines on the prison island of Patmos. He wrote his prophetic Book of Revelation on Patmos. The apostle John was later freed and returned to serve as Bishop of Edessa in modern Turkey. He died as an old man, the only apostle to die peacefully.
Peter was crucified upside down on an x-shaped cross, according to church tradition because he told his tormentors that he felt unworthy to die in the same way that Jesus Christ had died.
James the Just, the leader of the church in Jerusalem, was thrown over a hundred feet down from the southeast pinnacle of the Temple when he refused to deny his faith in Christ. When they discovered that he survived the fall, his enemies beat James to death with a fuller's club. This was the same pinnacle where Satan had taken Jesus during the Temptation.
James the Greater, a son of Zebedee, was a fisherman by trade when Jesus called him to a lifetime of ministry. As a strong leader of the church, James was ultimately beheaded at Jerusalem. The Roman officer who guarded James watched amazed as James defended his faith at his trial. Later, the officer walked beside James to the place of execution. Overcome by conviction, he declared his new faith to the judge and knelt beside James to accept beheading as a Christian.
Bartholomew, also know as Nathanael, was a missionary to Asia. He witnessed to our Lord in present day Turkey. Bartholomew was martyred for his preaching in Armenia when he was flayed to death by a whip.
Andrew was crucified on an x-shaped cross in Patras, Greece. After being whipped severely by seven soldiers they tied his body to the cross with cords to prolong his agony. His followers reported that, when he was led toward the cross, Andrew saluted it in these words: "I have long desired and expected this happy hour. The cross has been consecrated by the body of Christ hanging on it." He continued to preach to his tormentors for two days until he expired.
The apostle Thomas was stabbed with a spear in India during one of his missionary trips to establish the church in the subcontinent.
Jude, the brother of Jesus, was killed with arrows when he refused to deny his faith in Christ.
Matthias, the apostle chosen to replace the traitor Judas Iscariot, was stoned and then beheaded.
Barnabas, one of the group of seventy disciples, wrote the Epistle of Barnabas. He preached throughout Italy and Cyprus. Barnabas was stoned to death at Salonica.
The apostle Paul was tortured and then beheaded by the evil Emperor Nero at Rome in A.D. 67. Paul endured a lengthy imprisonment which allowed him to write his many epistles to the churches he had formed throughout the Roman Empire. These letters, which taught many of the foundational doctrines of Christianity, form a large portion of the New Testament.
The details of the martyrdoms of the disciples and apostles are found in traditional early church sources. These traditions were recounted in the writings of the church fathers and the first official church history written by the historian Eusebius in A.D. 325. Although we can not at this time verify every detail historically, the universal belief of the early Christian writers was that each of the apostles had faced martyrdom faithfully without denying their faith in the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Reference: Jeffrey, Grant R., "The Signature of God", Frontier Research Publications, Inc. (1996), p.254-257
No other book is even a close second to the Bible on either the number or early dating of the copies. The average secular work from antiquity survives on only a handful of manuscripts; the New Testament boasts thousands.The average gap between the original composition and the earliest copy is over 1,000 years for other books.The New Testament, however, has a fragment within one generation from its original composition, whole books within about 100 years from the time of the autograph [original manuscript], most of the New Testament in less than 200 years, and the entire New Testament within 250 years from the date of its completion.The degree of accuracy of the copies is greater for the New Testament than for other books that can be compared. Most books do not survive with enough manuscripts that make comparison possible.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Insane Clown Posse
Zack was 15, the friend of a friend. He found himself sitting at my dining room table describing the Insane Clown Posse concert he had just attended at Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids, Michigan. He was attempting to elaborate on the strippers.
"I liked the strippers, but they were the same ones (girls) that they used last time." said Zack, disappointedly. " As he said this, his buddy David (my friend) reached across the table to hand him a blunt wrapper that was handed out at the concert. Zack wondered aloud, "You don't want the kids to see this, do you?"
When I was a teenager (in the early 90's), I too listened to Insane Clown Posse. Their music was the soundtrack for my years of drug-use, unprotected sex, and disobedience to my parents. These years led me into numerous health problems, and several misdemeanors and one felony on my permanent record. Insane Clown Posse's hate-inspired lyrics gave me the fuel I needed to justify my own anger. They're now influencing an entirely new generation of teenagers. This is not easy for me, but here are the lyrics to what was once one of my favorite ICP songs.
Well i'm headed down the southern trail, i'm goin' chicken huntin'.Choppin' red neck chicken necks i ain't sayin' nothin'To the hillbilly, stick my barrel in his eye, boom-shaka, boom-shaka,Hair chunks in the sky.Why? i, never liked chicken pot pie or the chopped chicken on rye.Tell mr. billy bob i'm a cut his neck upSlice, poke, chop-chop, stab, cut."what can you do with a drunken hillbilly?"Cut his f###in' eyes out, and feed 'em to his aunt nilly.Willie, willie chicken neck. chicken huntin' gotta love it.Hit him with the 12 gauge >f###en, chicken nugget<.Layed out all over the grass. bet his little hound dog'll eat 'em upFast.(pre-chorus):Last as long as you can, my man,Cuz when that chicken head hits the fan you got:Blood, guts, fingers and toes. (w/ echoes)Blood, guts, fingers and toes. (w/ echoes)Blood, guts, fingers and toes. (w/ echoes)Sittin' front row at the chicken show, so...(end prechorus)(chorus):"who's goin' chicken huntin?""we's goin' chicken huntin'.""who's goin' chicken huntin?""we's goin' chicken huntin'.""who's goin' chicken huntin?""we's goin' chicken huntin'.""cut a mo#####in' chicken now, ""right!"(chorus)Lemme get a chicken sandwich, with manwich, ah,Feel the red on a chicken neck.Choppin up hella yeah, billy bob billyCuz i chop m######in' red necks silly.Peeped in your yard tell me what did i see?I seen a chicken boy, f####n' this sheep. i said,"mister, mister, what the f### you tryin' to do?"Badau-bad-a-badau-badau-bauBarrels in your mouth, bullets to your head,The back of your neck's all over the shed.Boom-shaka-boom, chop, chop, bang,I'm 2 dope, and it ain't no thingTo cut a chicken, triggers clickin'Blow off his head but his feet still kickin'(pre-chorus)(chorus)Went to kentucky, i got lucky,Met this hogcallin' b### named blocky.Ridin' on a chicken, milkin' a sow.Hittin' switches in a drop-top, low-ride tractor. wow.Red neck fella, moon-shine sella,Hangin' by his neck bone. chicken bone's locked in the cella',Yella' bellied chicken plucka'. you red neck f####!(chorus)Rich b####!Yeah! yeah! yeah!Ha ha ha ha ha!Uh!
I believe that only the prayers of the saints can stop this sick and twisted evil from continuing across our nation. This music group is currently touring the United States, bringing a new brand of evil to cities near you. Don't be afraid, don't be mad, just count on the power of the God who brought me out of that lifestyle to do the same for all those who are under their deception. Please pray that God would put an end to this group as only he can. Pray for the salvation through Jesus Christ of Violent J (Joseph Bruce) and Shaggy (Joseph Ustler). Only love (in Jesus name) can defeat this wickedness.
BTJ
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Federal Hate Crimes Bill
Well, its finally happening. The quickening.No, you yourselves do wrong and cheat, and you do these things to your brethren! Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals,[a] nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Philosophy of Aquinas
I would like to direct your attention to a blog by a very good, hard-thinking preacher by the name of Brian Zhand. One of his most recent post, entitled "Thomas Aquinas" had me thinking for a few days. A quote...
Aquinas asserted that Faith and Reason are in no way contradictory. There are not two truths -- spiritual truth and rational truth -- but only Truth. Indeed, all truth is God's truth. I've said before that, in theory, one could study any object in the universe, a pea for example, and ultimately it would lead to the knowledge of God.* But the problem is it takes too long, and thus the need for what Aquinas called "special revelation" -- a divine shortcut to knowing God. Primarily, special revelation is the Scriptures.
Full Article
BTJ
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Read this before forming an opinion on Hillary Clinton
I have always had mixed thoughts on Hillary. I do feel a certain inevitability to her presidency, as though she is the chosen one.Wednesday, February 7, 2007
David Duke, Evolution's Great Proponent
If you find yourself siding with the mainstream evolutionary theories, you are in agreement with David Duke, famous racist and Nazi. It is well known that the Nazi party of Germany was attempting to use selective breeding to remove "inferior races" from the earth, hence their wholesale slaughter of Jews. But few people realize this thinking had its basis in Darwinistic Evolution. Conversely, if one believes that everyone on earth came from one man, Adam, then we are all brothers and sisters and racism is not just morally wrong but cannot exist.Friday, February 2, 2007
NFL Shuts Down Church's Super Bowl Party
So the Church of Excesses (AKA the NFL) doesn't want the Church of Jesus Christ in on their version of Easter Sunday. They have banned one church in one town from having a Super Bowl party and have cited some pretty ridiculous reasons why. An excerpt from the article...Wednesday, January 31, 2007
The Muslim Strategy: An Essay

Tuesday, January 30, 2007
The Athiest Mama Shuts Down Her Comments Page
The simple fact of history is that the greatest evil has always resulted from denial of God, not pursuit of Him. Dennis Prager has noted, "In this [20th] century alone, more innocent people have been murdered, tortured, and enslaved by secular ideologies, nazism and communism, than by all religions in history."
Grab an older copy of the Guinness Book of World Records and turn to the category "Judicial," sub-heading "Crimes: Mass Killings." You’ll find that carnage of unimaginable proportions resulted not from religion, but from institutionalized atheism.
Guinness reports, "The greatest massacre ever imputed by the government of one sovereign against another is the 26.3 million Chinese killed during the regime of Mao Zedong between 1949 and May 1965. The Walker Report published by the U.S. Senate Committee of the Judiciary in July 1971 placed...the total death toll in China since 1949 between 32.25 and 61.7 million."
In the USSR, Nobel Prize winner Alexander Solzhenitsyn estimated that state repression and terrorism took over 66 million lives from 1917 to 1959 under Lenin, Stalin and Khrushchev.
The worst per capita genocide happened in Cambodia under the Khmer Rouge. According to Guinness, "More than one third of the eight million Khmers were killed between April 17, 1975 and January 1979."
The greatest evil does not result from people zealous for God. It results when people are convinced there is no God to whom they must answer.
Christianity's Real Record, By Gregory Koukl, Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Suddenly, mysteriously, as of 1-30-2007, the very next day, the comments section of her contact page (where I posted) is CLOSED!
To The Atheist Mama and her contributors: I'm sorry that I offended you with my comment. If my comment was deleted because of its factual content, I must say that I am certain of my sources and by no means intended to create strife on your website. Admittedly, I was trying to present a dissenting view which I believed would benefit your readers.
BTJ
World War 3 has Already Begun
Read the full article here.
I am not an alarmist, but I believe it is important to be realistic about the current situation.
BTJ
Monday, January 29, 2007
An Answer to the Afghanistan Problem
I believe this article sheds bright light on the reason Afghanistan has been such a problem for invading countries.Sunday, January 28, 2007
Christianity's Real Record
Christianity's Real Record
BTJ
Friday, January 26, 2007
School Lunch Around the World
My daughter was recently commissioned by her school's Student Council to write a paper on "How to Improve the School."






